She is gone, yes that's it, she's gone. I have accepted what used to be will no longer but for some reason you won't let her be.
It feels like I am having to explain that I love the parts of me that exist now but for some reason, you just keep talking about 'how I used to say these things and act that way.' Who is really having the midlife crises here? Me or You?
I call this version of myself unbothered and happy.
I am unbothered by the way you once saw me. I was easy, easy to influence to join the manipulative world you created to feel safe.
That's deep! I need to take a seat
Yeah, let me take a seat to your agenda. Besides I am only living in my own body with my own experiences and my own life plan. How harmful can it be if I neglect my own needs so you can feel safe? It only might cost my life.
You know what I discovered was I was always comfortable being me. I loved to laugh, say odd things, dress to impress...me, then the fears of you took over and I got lost. This is my journey back to self and I have enjoyed every I mean every minute of the climb back. Now I must admit your kicking and screaming, phone calls discussing how I used to act, and your passive-aggressive acts of what used to be kindness along with the words you got away with saying before I remembered almost worked again. Then I remembered how free I felt, how alive I felt, how empowering I felt, how unbothered I am.
I am
Yes, I am the creator of my story, my destiny, my journey and no longer will I allow your fears to tell me, push me, force me, passively aggressively move me out of my seat.
That's deep, let me take a seat
Only this time I brought the whole damn table
